How Self-Worth Allowed Me to Appreciate Myself

Jan 19

Written By Kiram S

I allowed others to define my worth. I sought validation in relationships, friendships, and even in my career, valuing others far more than I valued myself. It was a painful cycle of giving too much, receiving too little, and wondering why I always felt empty. It wasn’t until I embraced the concept of self-worth that my life began to transform. Learning to truly appreciate myself became the key to not just loving myself but also loving life.

Looking back, there were countless instances where I put others’ needs, opinions, and desires above my own:

In Relationships: I stayed in relationships where I felt unseen and undervalued because I believed I wasn’t enough and they were right. I tolerated disrespect, thinking that love meant compromise - even when it meant compromising myself.
In Friendships: I bent over backward to be the “perfect” friend, saying yes when I wanted to say no, offering support without receiving any in return, and staying silent when boundaries were crossed.
In My Career: I accepted less than I deserved, whether it was taking on extra work without recognition or staying quiet when my ideas were dismissed. I believed my value was tied to how much I could give, not who I was.

Each of these moments left me feeling depleted, disconnected, and unworthy. But they also set the stage for my greatest lesson: the transformative power of self-worth.

The Power of Self-Worth

Self-worth is about setting standards for how you expect to be treated by yourself and others. When you truly believe in your worth, you stop tolerating relationships or situations that diminish you. It’s a powerful act of self-love that reshapes every aspect of your life.

Here’s how self-worth has empowered me:

Setting Boundaries: I learned that saying “no” is not selfish; it’s necessary. Boundaries protect your energy and ensure that you’re investing in relationships that uplift rather than drain you.
Walking Away from Negativity: Whether it’s a toxic relationship, an unfulfilling job, or even my own negative thought patterns, I’ve learned to let go of what no longer serves me.
Investing in Growth: Believing in my worth has motivated me to pursue my passions, prioritise self-care, and surround myself with people who see and celebrate my value.

Why Self-Worth is a Powerful Self-Love Concept

Self-worth is the foundation of self-love. It’s about recognizing that your value isn’t tied to your achievements, your relationships, or how others perceive you. It’s inherent. When you embrace this truth, it changes everything:

You Attract Better Relationships: When you value yourself, you naturally attract people who value you too. You stop settling for crumbs and start demanding reciprocity and respect.
You Make Empowered Choices: Self-worth gives you the courage to prioritize your happiness. You make decisions that align with your values and let go of what doesn’t.
You Cultivate Inner Peace: Knowing your worth silences the inner critic. You become kinder to yourself, celebrating your progress rather than fixating on perceived flaws.
You Embrace Authenticity: When you know your worth, you stop pretending to be someone you’re not. You show up as your authentic self, knowing that who you are is enough.

How I Reclaimed My Self-Worth

The journey to self-worth wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. Here’s what helped me:

Reflection: I identified patterns where I’d allowed others to overstep and asked myself why I tolerated it. This clarity was the first step to change.
Affirmations: I replaced self-doubt with affirmations that reminded me of my value. Phrases like, “I am worthy of love and respect,” became daily mantras.
Therapy and Support: Speaking with a therapist and confiding in supportive friends helped me process past hurts and rebuild my confidence.
Practicing Self-Care: From setting aside time for hobbies to prioritizing rest, I began treating myself with the same care I’d once reserved for others.
Celebrating Wins: Big or small, I started celebrating my achievements as proof of my growth and resilience.

Loving Life Through Self-Worth

Today, my life feels richer, more joyful, and more aligned. By embracing my self-worth, I’ve created a life filled with meaningful relationships, fulfilling pursuits, and, most importantly, peace. Loving myself has allowed me to love life in a way I never thought possible.

If you’re struggling to see your worth, know this: you are already enough. The journey to self-worth may be challenging, but it’s also the most empowering gift you can give yourself. So set those standards, honor your value, and watch how life transforms when you prioritize the love you have for yourself.

Lastly, here are journal prompts: